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January 21, 2011
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Title: Tokens.
Game: Dragon Age 2.
Pairing: Fenris x Lady Hawke.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to BioWare and BioWare alone. I just like to toy with them and laugh.

---

The Amell estate's labyranthine hallways were ground deeply into Fenris' memory. He knew what lay behind each door, what rooms connected to those, and which would be inhabited by the people he'd come to know just as  thoroughly as the home in Hightown.

By no surprise, he found Leandra Hawke in the estate's smaller sitting room, book in her lap and pair of wire-framed glasses poised on the tip of her nose. A set of intelligent blue-gray eyes flicked up to his, and her lips curled into an immediate smile, lines digging into her cheeks.

"Fenris," came her greeting. It was gentle and warm as it always was, and he followed an offered hand to sit in the high-backed chair beside her.

She watched him closely. After his time spent in their company, she'd seen a great change in him as compared to the nearly silent man they'd been introduced to initially. His movements were more fluid now. Relaxed. The air of discomfort wasn't nearly as strong as it had been, following him like shadow as opposed to cloaking him completely. She was pleased to see that he no longer wore his armor when visiting, opting instead for something softer - linen and butter-soft leather.

"Is there something I can help you with?" Leandra slid a strip of fabric into her book and closed it, a delicately lined hand smoothing over the cover. "Are you looking for Emaline?"

"I am," he replied, managing a little tilt of a smile. "Carver mentioned that she isn't home. It felt... odd to leave without saying hello."

Nodding, the woman crossed her ankles, shifting on the sofa to tilt just enough towards him to make it obvious that she welcomed his company. "If it takes you long enough to say hello, she might be back. She was fetching something from the apothecary for my aches. A talented herbalist she is not, that's for certain."

Fenris set his hands on his knees, his back straight save for a slight bend in his waist. He was uncomfortable with silence now, so used to listening to the bickering between Emaline and her brother, Isabela's teasing, Aveline's warm hum (and occasional singing). So when things grew quiet in the sitting room, he found words pouring from his lips.

"I often wished I remembered my mother. Wished I could do things for her as Emaline does for you." Fenris' eyes roamed around the room as he spoke, unwilling to look Leandra in the face due to his sudden, almost incomprehensible outburst.

She chuckled, her head giving a little shake. "She doesn't offer. Only when I ask does she do things like this." Her brows twitched inward a little. She remembered her own mother very clearly. Every feature, the cadences of her voice, even her smell - it all stayed with her, even at her age. What was it like to not remember the people who'd loved you?

"It's not just that. Not really. I've seen Hawke's face when you welcome her home. Even the slightest of touches elicits some response. A smile, a laugh even. It's... difficult to make her laugh."

"You never struck me as the sentimental sort, Fenris."

Fenris tilted his head, neck twisting just enough to look at her. "I... don't really -- I keep it mostly to myself, but I am." He chuckled quietly, the sound full of disbelief. Was he really talking to her about this? Hawke's mother? "I keep things that remind me of the people I meet. Nothing large; tokens at most."

Another thoughtful nod was the woman's first response. "Why is that?" was her second, voiced after a short pause and flanked by another. The wrinkles on her forehead deepened for a moment. "If you don't mind my asking."

Shaking his head, Fenris' gaze moved to the ground between his feet. The muscles in his shin flexed, toes twitching over the stone, barely brushing the frayed edge of the rug thrown carefully across the center of the floor. "I hope that... Well, should I have these objects and forget everything a second time, I might remember them. The people in my life." A slight tightness in his throat kept his thoughts from flowing without a hitch, but he worked past it. "I have nothing to remember my old life by. Perhaps that is why my memory still fails me."

Leandra's curiosity was piqued. Whatever amnesia the Magister had left him with was a cause for some frustration, to be sure, but she hadn't expected this. Now that he'd mentioned it, however, it seemed like the most logical path to take. "What do you have of Emaline's to remember her by?"

"A ring," Fenris said with a quiet chuckle. "She gave it to me when we first met. It made me invulnerable to some elements to a certain point."

"Mm..." The thoughtful sound rumbled in her throat, fingers sliding over her book's cover to hold it balanced on her knee as she turned even more towards him. "Because of whatever magical enemy you would face while in her company?"

For a long time, all the answer he gave was a simple shake of his head. His words formed on his tongue easily; it was giving voice to what he knew to be true that he found so difficult. Any talk of emotions - and more specifically, her emotions - was normally side-stepped before he could even consider speaking of them. But he wasn't talking to Ema. He was talking to her mother.

Once that thought formed in his mind, Fenris found his voice again. "Because of her," he said. The words sounded surprisingly thick, but there was a hint of amusement in what he said, as if he could not fully believe it himself. "It reminds me of her when I pick it up, since I no longer wear it. It's... cold, but it protects me."

"Protects you from...?"

"From her. Like she does, I suppose." His shoulders gave a deliberate shrug. "I figured you would understand."

When he looked back to her, he saw that Leandra's expression had shifted. There was something distant in her eyes, as if she was looking past the stones that made the floor and to the ground below, a sudden solemnity pulled around her slouched shoulders like a too-heavy cloak.

"I do," she murmured finally, "It's a fitting token, though I did hope that you would have found a happier one."

"The memories are happy enough, I think. I require little else."
Okay, so, it's fairly obvious Varric is my main man, but this particular Hawke (Emaline; mage) has been bugging me for a while now and I wanted you guys to get to know her. She's standing out a lot more to me than Cordia (so far; I haven't really written much with either of them), but that's only so far.

So, yes, here, have some Fenris fanfic.
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:iconiwuvwoona:
IwuvWoona Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I haven't even met fenris in my game yet, but I have already chosen him as my romance. She will have him!
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:iconbluekitten22:
BlueKitten22 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2012
awwww this is so sweet!!!!!
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:iconwynnel:
WynneL Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011
I would be a very happy girl if Fenris and Leandra were exactly like this! :) I love your portrayal of both of them. It's going to be so awesome to play a game with family members who actually *live* for once! It would be great if Mama Hawke really did interact with your LI; I would love that.

You are really good, by the way. I thought you would be, but you are the kind of writer that makes it look effortless, and that takes skill.
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:iconfair-hermia:
fair-hermia Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm very glad you enjoyed it! I really do hope that Fenris is something like this, as well as Leandra. It was surprisingly a lot of fun digging into this part of Fenris, since I've only really seen him interact with Lady Hawke, the Magister, or random-males-who-try-to-hit-on-Lady-Hawke in the fic I've read. I'd love to see him actually having a conversation with her!

Awww. Thank you so, so much. You've gone and given me all manner of warm fuzzies! I'm glad you liked it. :D
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:iconwynnel:
WynneL Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011
I know what you mean--sure, the humor and overt romance stuff is fun, but sometimes I just miss seeing fiction with a little bit of *substance*, you know? And you totally did that here. "Like" is therefore too mild a word to describe how I felt about this fic. :)

Heh, love your signature, too! King Cailan was indeed a pretty, pretty man (and I kinda think people give him too much of a hard time for being raised to cling to legends, with a deceased mother and mostly-absent father and all of that, plus the whole ogre thing. Geez. He led a tragic life, actually.)

Well, here's hoping we get some romance confirmations and character vids soon! More fuel for the fire, right? :D
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:iconlittlenikki44:
littlenikki44 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011
Wow! This is just wonderful :love:

I too, really hope that Fenris appears in game like your description of him in here. And your Hawke sounds really interesting as well, and I love the name you've given her.
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:iconfair-hermia:
fair-hermia Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm so glad you like it, dear! :D

As do I. ): (I swear, it still feels silly saying that; I'm not trying to take Gaider's job or anything, I promise!) And thank you! I'm definitely going to be writing more of Emaline in the near future. :3
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:iconaarien7494:
aarien7494 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011   Photographer
The wibbling. Oh, the wibbling. I know you haven't seen Valen's romance (which makes this even more impressive considering it reminds me a lot of him) but I'd just like to mention I think you have Fenris rather spot on. Amazingly written.
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:iconfair-hermia:
fair-hermia Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This comment made me squee, and you know it! I can't wait to see at least a little of Fenris in order to make sure I have his voice right. He still sounds like Mads in my head. It's frustrating, lmao.
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:iconfyrequeen89:
FyreQueen89 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011
Oh, this is lovely! I hope Fenris is at least sort of like this in the game. It's nice to see a more serious look at a relationship between him and Hawke. As much as I enjoy fluff, it is nice to get something not-fluff every once in awhile(if that makes sense.... :D
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